rwanda for many of us is inextricably tied to the genocides of 1994, when hutus slaughtered 800,000 tutsis and sympathizers in 100 days. but since that time the world has started to pay attention to this small central african nation. international aid money flows copiously, evidenced by the inability to walk two blocks in the capital without seeing the headquarters for some ngo or international aid organization, with startling results. the country is orderly, stable, safe, and functional, though completely surrounded by countries of varying degrees of development. before arriving i had heard stories of rwanda as a backwater in the 70's-80's so my expectations were low, but during my travels here i heard reports that rwanda was "not like africa," and "like being at home." on the way from tanzania our small van was boarded by two armed escorts and told not to stop for anything because the area was unstable, then our bus promptly got a flat tire. a couple of us got out and looked nervously around while the bus drivers anxiously changed the tire with 8 people still inside hoisted on a precarious-looking jack made for a small go-kart. upon arrival from tanzania i was amazed--it was an immediate transformation. kigali, the capital, is a bustling big city with western style supermarkets, coffee shops, restaurants, and skyscrapers (kinda) with western style prices.
i arrived late in the evening and tried to check into a cheap hostel with the help of pascal, the project's accountant. turned out everything was 20$ or more for simple accommodation. i couldn't afford to pay, so pascal offered to let me stay with him. that settled, i offered to buy him dinner so i wanted to go to the bank and withdraw some cash. he informed me that since it was after regular business hours you can't withdraw cash with international cards. WHAT!! i argued that this city with all the amenities you can't get cash from an atm, but it seems so western, and i'd heard that rwanda was one of the most business-friendly nations in the world. pascal explained that though they'd come far, when you start at the bottom of world GDPs and move up 50 places you are still at 150. these things take time. to think that 16 years ago there were kids walking the streets hacking to death their neighbors to where they are today is astounishing. though in appearance the country is very western with all the luxuries, but the mentality of the people remains very "african."
i was welcomed into pascal's home and we discussed the differences of the american and african mind. he thought it unusual that i would assume that i was burdening him by staying at his home. rwandan culture assumes that travelers will be taken in without any reluctance or hesitation to the length of stay. in the states we are ready for visitors to leave as soon as they arrive.
we discussed his upcoming wedding which will have 600 guests (SIX HUNDRED) minimum. i wondered if his father was a very rich man to pay for the weddings of his 17 children from 2 wives. he said the opposite--the guests, many of whom he has never met, bring money which is used to pay the costs. his father, in fact, pays only for the eldest children until they are on their own feet, when they in turn are responsible for covering the school fees, food, clothes, etc., for the younger children and so on.
his father, he explained, had so many children that he forget some of the children's names and with birthdates he was hopeless. we also talked about the size of the family he wanted, at least 4. the more children, the more love you have. i argued that with less children you are able to focus more attention and resources on them. he found my argument off base. he added that his mother couldn't believe that rich men like bill clinton and george w bush would only have one or two children. it was difficult to explain that large families aren't indicators of wealth in the US. i added that socially and environmentally this is a less sustainable approach (very western of me). we left this discussion alone.
that night pascal prepared the house before going to bed. shutting the door behind the night guards, drawing the curtains over the barred windows, locking the doors, dead-bolting, putting two padlocks on the door, then locking the hallway door and finally locking the doors to our rooms. needless to say, i sound like a janitor if god forbid i need to pee in the middle of the night.
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