on a recent visit to my site, I was taught an important skill, the delicate art of donkey conflict mediation. my family and i were sitting down to a leisurely meal, when were heard the horrible cry of our family donkey in pain. just as suddenly a neighor kid burst in, yelling that the neighbor's donkey was on the loose and looking for trouble. we ran outside to see our donkey in the fight of his/her life!! now, the uninitiated might ask how does one go about breaking up a donkey fight, well dear reader i shall tell you.
Step 1: run around frantically deciding what to do next
Step 2: select a good sized rock. this takes some skill to pick the right stone; preferably golfball sized and ergonomically comfortable to your given hand
Step 3: form a circle around the battling animals; careful of flailing hooves and snarling teeth
Step 4: pelt the assailtant with your rock; careful not to hit other people pummeling the animals with their rocks
Step 5: grab the tethers of the donkeys and begin to pull the animals apart. this step is reserved for more experienced practicioners ie fathers
Step 6: walk the aggressor home and yell at his/her owner for allowing their donkey to get loose.
as a pcv i understand my role as an agent of change, so ive recognized that these disputes are a possible area where i can administer my skills of mediation/pacificion. if all goes well i could be known far and wide as the "notorious ass whisperer"
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